There is one story in particular that I think about often. This story touched my heart even before I was a mother, but my connection to it has immensely intensified since Caleb was born. Genesis 16 begins the story of Hagar and Ishmael. After living many years without being able to get pregnant, Sarah, Abraham's wife, convinced him to sleep with her slave Hagar in order to have children. Hagar did, in fact, become pregnant, and bore Abraham his first son Ishmael. Eventually the Lord blessed Sarah with a child, Isaac. Ultimately a rivalry ensued between the two boys, so Sarah had Abraham send Hagar and Ishmael away, with only a little food and one skin of water. Now, this is where it really grips me. Genesis 21:14-20 goes on to say:
When the water in the skin was gone, [Hagar] put the boy under one of the bushes. Then she went off and sat down about a bowshot away, for she thought, "I cannot watch the boy die." And as she sat there, she began to sob.
God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation."
Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.
God was with the boy as he grew up.
Wow. What an amazing testimony. Oh how my heart breaks for Hagar. I can't even begin to imagine how she felt. The thought of seeing my child in need, dying, and not being able to do anything to help him, cripples me. My eyes are filled with tears right now. I pray I am never faced with that challenge.
There are so many lessons to learn from this passage, about God's character, faith, and obedience. But the lesson that rings loudest to me is to trust that God loves my child even more than I do. That doesn't mean that my children are not going to face hardships in life. But what it does mean is that when those hardships arise, the soverign Lord is going to be by their side. I can't think of anything more comforting as a mother. I know there are going to be times in my children's lives that I am not going to be able to protect them. That I am going to see them making decisions that I disagree with. That I will have to watch as their hearts are broken. In those times, I need to remember that they are God's children and He loves them even more than I do. He is with them; protecting them, guiding them, and comforting them, even when I cannot. What more could I want for my children?
I'm sure Hagar would have done anything to be able to make a well of water appear and take care of her sweet son. But she couldn't. The Lord was the only one who could save him. What a beautiful picture of the truth that exists today: only God can save us. We can do everything conceivable to save ourselves or our children, but at the end of the day, it is only when we truly realize that we cannot do it alone, that the Lord steps in to save us.
Lord, may I trust you always. In the best of times, in the most desperate of times. May I remember that you knit my children together in my womb and love them even more than I do. May I remember that even when I can't see the light through the darkness, you will hear our cry. May I remember that in all things You work for the good of those who love You.
