Embracing the Hardship

Life is hard. It's filled with pain, heartache, disappointment, grief, and discontentment. Every time I find myself going through one of these difficult times, without fail, the question "why?" crosses my mind. Awhile back, my amazing husband blogged about pain (in fact, it was this blog that pushed me over the edge to madly-in-love with him). Read it if you haven't. I guarantee you will be blessed. Brian's blog speaks of the hidden blessings in the tough times, and how we should embrace the pain, knowing that God will use the hardship we endure for His purposes in the end. Still, despite knowing this, I still inevitably ask "why do I have to go through this?"

God has answered that question, yet again. Those of you who have read my testimony know that I went through a very dark period five years ago. At the time, I asked "why?" Not long after, Christ clearly answered that question when I came to know Him as my savior. But he continues to answer my "why?" Just this week I was blessed to meet with a woman going through a similar situation that I went through. Although the facts are different, the root of the issue is the same. She, too, is placing her security in things other than Christ. I was moved to tears as she asked me to walk along side her as she worked through these issues. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." What a blessing to use what I have learned through the hardships I have endured to show Christ's love and comfort to another. Knowing that the pain I suffered may help another grow closer to Christ makes it all worth it.

Lord, use me. Open my eyes to the people and situations around me that enable me to display your grace, love, mercy, and comfort. What an honor to be Your vessel.

Out of the Mouth of a Babe

"Knowing all the good that has come of it, I wouldn't change it for the world." How many of us can speak these words in the middle of a difficult and terrifying time? To be honest, I'm not sure that I would be able to. But, these words came out of the mouth of a 15 year old boy tonight as he spoke of all that he and his family have been going through since he was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor several weeks ago. Amazing. He spoke of the impact his medical condition has had on his relationship with God, his family's relationship with God, and even that of those who merely hear his story. And it's true. I have been deeply impacted by his story. His faith, his perseverance, his compassion, have truly been an inspiration to me.

Several weeks ago he was brought on stage at church and asked specifically how we can pray for him. What was his answer? Please pray for my mom because she is really struggling with this. Wow. Even in the time of his greatest need, when he would be most justified to live selfishly, he was thinking of others. It reminded me of the story in Luke where Jesus cried out to his Father, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." After being abused and ridiculed mercilessly, when He was most justified to feel anger and resentment, Jesus was pleading on his abuser's behalf. What an immeasurable selfless act. I see that same character in this young man.

Every time I hear a bit of this young man's story, my eyes fill with tears. Though part of it is sadness, most of it is pride. What an amazing, godly man. What an example he is to everyone, both young and old, of what true faith is. I can only hope and pray that my own son will be as godly as he is.

I also hope and pray that I will be a godly role model to my children, just as this young man's mother has been to him. She has poured endlessly into her children's lives; teaching them godly principles and helping them develop the character we see exhibited in this young man today. I am inspired by her to be in such intimate relationship with Christ that my children can't help but see Him in all aspects of my life. And I pray that as I walk the path of parenthood and I am faced with difficult situations, that I will lean on Him and rest in the assurance of my Heavenly Father.

Thank you for your leadership Kilhoffer family!

I'm back...

I haven't blogged in months. Not because I haven't had anything to share, but because I'm a lawyer and a perfectionist. That means that it takes me A VERY LONG TIME to write each entry. In law school I learned how important every word you write is, and I can't seem to get that out of my mind. So I pour over every word, ensuring that it is the most efficient way to articulate what I'm trying to convey. Seriously. It's an illness. But, I'm turning a new leaf. It's time that I loosen up, and just start sharing what is on my heart, without worrying about whether it is perfect. So, I'm back. :) See, an entry written in less than a minute. Pretty good start to the new me!